Samikshya Thapa
Kathmandu. Her smile is cheerful as she welcomes the guest and offers a cup of tea. She checks that the food is hot and that the bedding is neatly arranged. In the kitchen, her hands move swiftly, her smile is unwavering as she gives polite responses.
To a countless number of foreign visitors, she is the heart of the Nepali hospitality experience: the attitude which is humble yet gracious, welcoming to the core. Still, what lies behind such smiles, that we rarely bother to ask, is this: ‘Is she smiling because tourism is empowering her, or does she have no choice but to smile?’
There is no denying that tourism has opened doors across Nepal. Women testify to being more visible in the hospitality industry from the crowded markets in Thamel to the serene Ghorepani trails, and even at community lodges in Bandipur and homestays in Ilam. They guide tourists in their villages, perform local cuisines, manage homestays, sell handicrafts, and run the kitchens.
Their participation has increased, and in almost all public accounts and promotional documents, this is celebrated as a symbol of empowerment. But if we pause and look closely, we begin to see a more complex picture. Indeed, tourism has created employment opportunities for women especially in the remote areas and rural tourism destinations. Some women now start earning for the first time in their lives.
Those women learn new skills by interacting with people from diverse parts of the globe and directly contribute to their household income. But what we must be asking is: who commands that income? In most of the families, it is still the male member who, be it husband, father or son manages the finances. And while a woman may work endlessly in the background, cooking for guests or cleaning the rooms, her name may not be on the bank account, nor on the business registration. The face of hospitality may be hers, but the control often isn’t.
It indeed lies with ‘him’, who controls almost everything. There is also the emotional labor that comes with this role. Women are expected to be ever-smiling, ever-patient, and ever-available to make guests feel “at home.” They wake up early to milk the cow and prepare breakfast. They ensure the children are ready for school, clean the rooms, and then cook for tourists often all without help. Even when they are tired or sick, they must greet the guests with the same smile. Because in the world of tourism, the guest is king and the hostess is expected to be endlessly accommodating.
Some women say they enjoy hosting, that they feel proud when guests appreciate their food or show interest in their culture. And that is important, pride and joy in one’s work can indeed be empowering. But at the same time, many of these women are under immense pressure to maintain a performance. They are not just being themselves, they are playing a role, often defined by expectations from the community, tourism operators, or even government initiatives.
They are expected to wear traditional clothes, perform cultural dances, and present a certain “authentic” image of Nepali womanhood. When this happens without their full consent or enthusiasm, it begins to feel more like obligation than empowerment. Empowerment becomes a form of responsibility rather than choice. Some groups of women may have to deal with fewer resources and fewer ways to make money when other groups of women lose resources and income possibilities.
One woman from a village near Ghandruk shared that she doesn’t particularly enjoy dancing for tourists during cultural programs, but she does it because her group depends on her. “Everyone expects us to look happy,” she said, “so I smile even when I don’t want to.” Moreover, some are hopeful. There are parts of the country where women are starting to take charge.
Some women operate their own eco-tourism lodges, while others guide treks, run travel agencies, or manage community tourism boards. For example, a group of sisters founded a training school for female trekking guides in Pokhara, defying the belief that trials are only meant for men to dominate. A woman who used to wash dishes at a lodge in the Everest area now runs her own business and employs other women.
These women do not simply consume tourism; they are in charge, they lead, and they make things happen.The examples above, however, are still far too rare. With every woman who is in a position of power, there are several others who are in less acknowledged positions without any power or authority. As much as these women’s voices get ignored during meetings about policies concerning tourism, there is no denying that there exist a number of policies and NGOs that mention empowerment.
Their existence, however, presents a stark contrast to the reality that women’s voices are seldom present in discussions around planning tourism. Their needs, such as child care, safety, fair pay, and time to rest, are almost never met. Why have we still not put enough thought into asking what their wishes are? What do their aspirations look like? Tourism, when done thoughtfully, has the potential to be a powerful tool for gender equality. It can offer income, exposure, confidence, and independence.
But for that to happen, we must move beyond romanticized images of smiling hostesses and recognize the hard work, emotional toll, and structural limitations they face. Empowerment is not just about putting women in front of the guest; it’s about giving them a say in how tourism is shaped, how money is distributed, and how their labor is valued.
We also need to pay attention to the women behind the scenes, positioned at the lower range of the employment hierarchy, those in the back of the house doing the cooking, cleaning, serving, and even smiling for the guests. You need to talk to them and find out how they feel. More fundamentally, ask whether the industry that relies so much value from these workers actually presents them with real value.
Because a smile can mean many things. It can be a sign of delight and pride, or just worn out of obligation. If we do not start asking questions, listening, and paying attention deeply, we shall never know whether she breathes the illusion of hope and empowerment or options where no options exist. (RSS)
[The writer is the Graduate of the Master’s Degree Programme in Gender Studies from the Tribhuvan University, Central Department of Gender Studies]
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